He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
