Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
