ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
