He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
