If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
ttyl tear gas
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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