Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
