I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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