Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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