I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
