omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
