Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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