KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
