I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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