forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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