Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
