I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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