I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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