Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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