who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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