this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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