woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize