dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
