I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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