im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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