How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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