Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
this hospital has no fireball
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
