its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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