i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize