Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
