I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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