Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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