Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can tuck mytits in my pants
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
