just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
