guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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