Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
