Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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