You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
