i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We don't watch enough power rangers
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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