What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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