My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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