How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
