We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
