You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What a dumb baby whore.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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