theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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