GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
