Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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