U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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