K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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