6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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