you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
