Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We have so much sex to catch up on
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
