Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
