Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
