so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
