Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's never too late to be topless.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
