This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
