Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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