honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize