i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
