Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize